Friday, February 23, 2007

small talk about the weather

Lately, it has been getting really hot in Kampala. Our little office in Kamwokya is becoming an oven. Sometimes I think this is foreshadowing for those who wont be lucky enough to hang with the others and me in heaven after this life.

We are still clinging to the colonial dictates of dressing up like whites; in Uganda, you are not smart unless you are wearing a tie. If you want to see some one pretty quick, the way to beat the front desk management is to wear a tie and look all-important. But that’s beside the point.

Uganda and the rest of the countries in this part of the world are not to blame for what is happening to the climate of this planet. We pollute but we don’t come even halfway what the west does. But that doesn’t mean we are going to keep our Eden intact while the rest of the world burns. Or drowns.We are "of the world" too. It rains on the righteous and the wicked alike, the wacky chick says.

Europe is running scared. The Beeb is doing a yearlong coverage on climate change and the other networks have taken it up. After years of running free, their sins are catching up with them.

And America, the biggest culprit is not wiping the egg off their face. After messing up our climate, producing toys they dont really need, and becoming too rich in the process, they are silent. The Govinator in Cali is calling for a 20% cut on industrial emissions but I think it’s too little too late.

It spells doom for the Arabs and Uganda. Just when we start our jubilations about the discovery of oil, institute a national prayer day where the first lady and her family eloquently thank God for giving us oil,after the big fishes have acquired the most expensive real estate in Uganda at the moment in Bunyoro, western Uganda, oil goes out of fashion.

The next big thing is not oil because oil is one of the biggest problems to the environment. Hybrid cars are already popular in the west and the European Parliament is already pushing for tem to be official policy.

As Ice T's character in the movie Ricochet said, the white people have us by the balls. If we rise to a point where we can make as much money as they do, money will become worthless. Cat shit will be the in-thing. Then they'll make the cats go extinct and only they will have just a few to rule world again. Paraphrasing.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The euwww! moment

I meet this guy; old school mate. I wasn’t close to him back then and we now talk just because we went to the same school.

No one liked him that much actually. I put it down to jealousy ‘cause dude is a ‘bwat,’ as in, a nerd who never gets anything below 75% He was always getting straight As and making everyone else feel like they came to school to grow.

This morning, I am petrified because I realise peeps didn’t like him for other reasons. I found out the hard way.

He sees me in the distance and his face lights up. His pace increases and as he gets near, he sticks his finger in his nose.

No. U didn’t just do that.

Then he grabs for my hand.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Mun2: My shillings on this guy

Just in case Warren B and Bebe Cool don’t want the hot seat…

Monday, February 05, 2007

It’s so hard out there being a prez

Our president is on pressure as we speak. If he’s not, well, he should be. What with the many barbs coming from all directions!

The opposition is having a field day. Mama Miria Obote is riding on the wave; throwing in her several cents’ worth of ideas. Heck, this is the chick who was on the ropes just a few weeks ago, being taken to task about her role in her late husband’s reign(s).

The whole furore is about the land giveaways that are running way out of hand.

In Uganda, if you want to get free land, get the president’s private number and call him. Tell him you have a business proposition. Just that. The rest will just fall into place.

Before you know it, you’ll have hundreds of hectares of land. Free. Well, you can pay like $1 in some cases.

This has been going on for some time now. People have been getting free land from government for a long time. That’s not like a new thing. Problem is that The Other Media House (TOMH) started to focus on it seriously, even started a subsection for it called Land Bonanza. Suddenly, the shit has hit the fan.

So the president has given out land to investors to build hotels in time for the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting. Big deal.

What are we gaining in the mean time? Methinks there’s a lot.

I am thinking of the many jobs that will definitely be created when there are more investors coming to my country. I am thinking that if people can feel secure putting down hundreds of dollars knowing that they will not be hindered when they want to up and go, they will come here in their hundreds.

Some really sensitive areas like forests have been given away. Forests like Mabira and Bugala have been signed over to the rich people who say they can turn them into money minting projects.

I cry for that side of events because that means in the scheme of things, the president and his government do not see any importance attached to things like wetlands (see Sudhir Ruparelia’s Rosebud) and forests. The environment does not feature anywhere on his list of priorities.

That’s side, however, I don’t think he’s way out of line. I want to live in a country where the people feel proud that they are citizens. I want to see a stop to the perennial story of Ugandans jumping on the plane and flying to the colder climes. Really.

I think Ugandans are looking for the good life outside. They can’t find it here so they go out there. If these investors can bring a semblance of what is out there attracting our doctors and neurosurgeons and engineers, then I am all for it, regardless of the pain and the price at which we attain it.

I believe right now, we cannot see anything good in these happenings. I believe the president is not the favourite person of even his staunchest supporters. All this is because he does his things like a dictator. Wait a minute; he is a dictator.

But history will judge him right. I know.