Saturday, July 01, 2006

Things to ponder

There are things in the great scheme of things that when one tries to make sense of later on after they have happened, they risk blowing their transformer. They happen allover the world but when they are close to home, on Ug soil, they take on a special flavour. You can go out there and brag that albeit, these are strange happenings but they are Ugandan happenings all the same.

The phone booth operators
In keeping with the advice of the president, that all Ugandans have to find a way of making their lives more confertable a.k.a. okulembeka, there are some enterprising people who have found a way to beat the system at its game. Have you tried to use the coin section of the phone booth lately? There is always a lady (or a guy) sitting close and they have on some yellow garment for effect. There is no way you can say that you did not see them. When you try to slot in your coin, it will disappear and the thing won’t work. Of course all along, the phone person has been telling you that the coin won’t help you, in other words, you must use my card. I think its all a plot because when you use their card, you pay at least Ug.Sh100 more. Now if they can make free moey this way, why would they let you use you coin which will cost you half of what they would charge you? Try using the phone at night and you will be surprised at how the coin is perfect.

President Charles Logan
The biggest let down in Season 5 is this guy shames all the great villains of the silver screen. All my peeps watching this thing in Uganda should be feeling the same, I tell you. If he was meant to be a crafty prez who was so daring as to let CTU come that close to him, he did not convince me. The guy does not know whether to grin, smile or wince. His face is a constant contradiction of emotions and the shadowy guys that recruited him must have been out of their minds to trust that he could carry out that deal. What deal, did you say? Watch the damn thing. My job description is not SPOILER.

Kim Bauer’s new catch
Like, WTF is Kim doing with that jajja?

Rasta Rob
Once upon a time, there was a guy who was the biggest star on the Ugandan scene. He was so big; he could lead a walk out from Sanyu FM and get employment at any other station of his choice. We have to be sorry for him today because his dad just died. Apparently he lives in the UK and he Mcees at Pier One. My puzzlement is on his friendship with President Jose Kabila from the other side. Man, this guy is in charge of a lot of golo and the Rasta guy is still those ways taking shit from all sorts of people? Why does he not tell his friend to like get him like only 5 Kgs of the stuff like it happens in Africa all the time? Only 5…

Yona Kanyomozi
The smartest guy in the Uganda People’s Congress undoubtedly. He’s been in the news lately because he has left his party. The first reports indicated that he had crossed to the NRM-O. Then there were reports that he said he is “for FDC.” I have always respected this guy, probably even more than Ndugu Ruhakana Rugunda but now I’m on shaky ground. I know this might be some sort of media plot to discredit him. It could have its origins in the offices of the very intelligent Noble Mayombo but I still am on shaky ground.

Masaka Hospital and current
There is a presidential lodge in Masaka and when the big man is in the area, he chills those ways. In the same district, there is a big referral (?) hospital and people come from the deepest villages of Buganda for treatment. The strange thing is that unlike Mulago hospital, which never gets load shed, Masaka Hospital is not spared. People still die because current went off while they were still under. And the presidential lodge? The guys who stay there don’t know what darkness means.

The Northern by-pass
This is one of the biggest achievements of the reigning regime. It is going to make the land through which it goes go up in price. As it is known, people from Buganda are the real capitalists. When they want money, they are not hindered by tradition or Eb’ennono about sale of land. So landlords around the northern by-pass are rubbing their hands in glee. One just wishes that by the time this government leaves power like 50 years from now, there will be more to talk about than this road. President Milton Obote was here for a far shorter time but his achievements are not contested.

Perpetual indebtedness
Uganda has once again been let off the hook. Momentarily. A big chunk of our debt - 3.8bn shillings – has been forgiven us. Theoretically, that would mean that we have learnt from our mistakes and we shall never find ourselves in that kind of trouble again. Unfortunately, we live in the real world. This time next year, we shall probably be in worse shit with the World Bank as regards debt. Same ol’ same ol’.

The war in the Middle East
The good Book said it many years ago that there would never be peace in Palestine until the Prince of Peace shows up. The world can try to do things in its own power all it wants but facts are facts. Those guys are not going to stop slaughtering innocent babies and alleged terrorists. I blame both sides in this thing.
Bebe Cool
Peeps be still confused about the fact that Bebe Cool is the King. He so kicks the asses of all those other singers but then, as they say, when you are good, your bitterest critics will be in your home country. Ask Kabelo who he thinks rules in Ug.

Stubborn Kibaki
The Kenyan Prez is pretending mbu he doesn’t hear the cries. There are like a million voices out there telling him that he is such a loser and that he should step away since he’s failed. Instead, his government has started targeting these voices of reason. Have you been to M’s blog lately?

TLC still rules
As in the greatest selling female group EVER. Even with the likes of DC and all those other wannabes, this girl group which sold almost 30million. After Lisa Lopes passed away in Honduras in 2002, the group would never be the same again. 3D, which included posthumous raps, was really a goodbye. But these girls rule. Just can't forget Waterfalls.

Craig David
And where is this dude?


Blogger savage said...

About Rasta Rob or Masta Robbo as he later changed his name to, I heard that he was kicked out of Pier One years ago like in 2002 or 2003. Apparently, he was hot in Uganda because Ugandans were " bebaffu". When he got to U.K were people are "balabufu", it was proved that dude wasn't that talented after all. In the club management's words, he was "the weakest link" on the team.

There was word also that after he lost the club gig, he ended up as a security guard at a bakery.

Then in 2004, I was chatting with U.K peeps in the simba FM chatroom and one dude told me that our beloved Masta Robbo was on "kamwanyi" which is basically welfare or weekly/ monthly payments/ allowances to unemployed/lazy/poor or homeless people.

Much as slander is what I do, all those are not my words. I HEARD.

7:49 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

TLC was definitely all that.

As for Craig David, he lost the plot when he started pandering to American tastes.

5:07 AM  
Blogger CountryBoyi said...

Oh Savage, u should have chilled putting those unhappy words on a man who once did his best for Ugandan entertainment. After all u have not confirmed whether they are true. Poor Rob, at least, he did something we still remember him for!

11:55 PM  
Blogger Iwaya said...

Savage, could you like do be this little bitty favour and we link on viaemail? i'm very interested in the fate of rasta rob or masta rob or whatever he is now and his adventures in the big bad world out there. please hook up with me on and we talk some more.

1:20 AM  
Blogger savage said...

About Craig David, even though his Born to do it album tended towards RnB, he was originally a two-step/ garage artiste and of course we know that style of music was a passing fad. He went with it.

And I suppose "rise and fall" was autobiographical.

8:19 PM  
Blogger baz said...

Chilli is the flyest thing in RnB, and I am so glad she got a chance to show off her voice in No Scrubs.

Fuck Craig David.

No matter what happened after, Rasta Rob wrote the template for being a Ugandan star.

If I may start a rumour, I have heard that M is in Raila's pocket. Mbu he is paid to write bad things about Mwai Kibaki...


7:30 AM  
Blogger scotchbiscuits said...

Leave my Craig-asskicking-David alone!!
I might be the only one in the world still lovin' him but thats because we are waiting for the charts to tell us which albums to buy and who to listen to.
'The Story Goes'-his 05 album(yes,he has an 05 album) is a delight. It's banging...and I don give a shit that I am the only one who seems to think so!!
Download 'unbelievable'-this choon is soooo unbelievable!!

9:50 AM  

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